We’ve all heard the saying that it’s not the size that matters, but the motion in the ocean. But are surfers today taking this notion a bit too far?

So I’m drinking an icy cold brew in one of my favorite cantinas, reflecting on what was a monumentally progressive session earlier in the day. Yeah, I had to swim to the rocks a couple of times to get my board and I’m pretty beat physically, but mentally I’m amped beyond belief. As I flag down another libation it’s nearly impossible to wipe the grin off my chapped lips. And to think I almost took the fish out today!

About this time I see a familiar face across the bar. This guy was out there for a little while earlier on and, from the looks of it, was having a pretty good time. “Get some fun ones?” I ask, eager to share my stoke with this soon to be acquaintance. “Got a couple,” he replies in a thick British accent. “Probably not as many as you, though.” The guy’s coming over to me now. “Oh great!” I start drinking faster, eager to escape what’s sure to be another one-way conversation about how I had the right board for the day. Instead, Hugh comes at me with a new, although equally naïve perspective.

“Yeah, I started off on a longboard about three years ago. Then last summer I moved to a 7′6″ and for this trip I’ve got me a really canny short board.” I don’t know if its Hugh’s accent or the fact that I’m simultaneously replaying a fin-first drop-in from my session earlier, but I’m about to crack up. He keeps going. “My mate’s got a dainty 6′2″ that I’m going to have a go with and if I can hack it, I may even go a wee bit smaller.”

That’s it. I can barely keep control of my nervous system. I narrowly avert pissing my pants, but the laughter comes out. Hugh looks perplexed. “What’s so funny?” I try to snap out of it, but I can’t. “Well,” I start out while simultaneously setting my empty on the counter, “assuming your current rate of board length reduction continues, and whatever other factors that are driving it hold up, you’ll be on a 2′10″ in just over three years!” Hugh laughs (albeit uncomfortably) and I go on my way, but I can’t stop thinking about what was going through this guy’s head.

I don’t know if it’s the stigma often associated with longboarding, current trends in surf-pop-culture or what, but it really does seem like people, without even knowing why, are going smaller and smaller. It makes about as much sense to me as Chinese foot-binding does, and although I’ve never experienced the latter first hand, I do see some similarities in the two practices at least as far as absurdity goes. Look, I know the advantages that come with a shorter stick. I’ve got potato chips in my quiver too, but come on people, let’s be reasonable! Get a clue, Hugh!

Surfing is all about having fun and there’s no one right way to do that, but obsessively fixating on riding smaller and smaller boards just isn’t healthy. Moreover, it can stunt a surfer’s progression. Yeah, small bound feet may be beautiful in some cultures, but they also hurt like hell! So, don’t lose track of what’s really important in trying to pursue some ideal. I’m not saying that experimentation is bad. Just, keep it real. That’s all.

Posted by Caleb on Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 in Surfing.

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